Things he couldn't say to her face Halloween was great. Took off work. Went to Eupora to see a football game with Justin. Eupora high school vs Ackerman high school. The game was horrible, neither of the teams played well at all despite the fact both were undefeated prior to that game. Final score, 6-0 Ackerman. That was Justins old high school. He introduced me to all his old friends as his "best" friend. Looks like im in good with him. Really awesome guy. Afterwards I come home and start shooting back some jagermiester while I wait on the guys to come pick me up to go to this party. It was the first real party i've attended here in Stark. Great times. Met plenty of really cool people. Got drunk off my ass winning at beer pong (which still I remain undefeated at) with Eli. Of course everyone was dressed up which made the girls look even hotter. Especially miss marylynn monroe. We shared a brief convo but at that particular moment I was focused on calling my DD before I passed out somewhere. I checked with Eli today to make sure she was hot, lol. I was at that point where every girl there was looking like a super model but he gave me positive reassurance. The only reason I went was to meet women initally, but the party scene is just so much fun. Definately getting an invite to the next one. Hmm.. New years is coming up... That should be interesting. Keith throws this idea at me tonight. He says Sean is wanting the guys to go to West Virginia to stay the night in some haunted psycho assylum on Jan 1. through 3rd. My first thought is yeah, road trip with the guys and staying at this haunted place, sounds like a great time. I started looking at reviews online of this place and wasn't too happy with what I found. Out of roughly 50 reviews that I read only 3 were positive. People hated this place.. said it was a TOTAL rip off, that it wasn't haunted in the slightest, and that unless your a history buff it will be incredibly boring. Sigh. That was a letdown. See this is Sean's crazy little bachelor party thing and im worried he will be highly disappointed. I'll make the sugggestion for another place to go but i'll leave it up to him on the final decision.. its gonna be his weekend trip. Ok, now for my highlight topic of this diary. Some of the following shall be confusing and leave many questions. But its just so hard to talk about.. that and my feelings are a little unclear. I dont really know how to start it off.. lol this wont make any sense. There is a person I am close to here in Stark. I tell her alot about me, more than I would ever tell anyone else. I trust her. I think I trust her. No, I know I do.. its just that I question what she tells her significant other alot of times. We all know that its hard not to tell the ones you love every little thing about yourself. Upon saying that, I want to say that its hard for me not to put my full trust in someone and not develop small fluttering thoughts. These are good thoughts sometimes, yet other times they are destructive if left glowing on one's face. Mixed feelings everywhere. Not to worry, im not hopelessly obsessed by any means. I can conceal it like I do with all the other stuff. Im soooo good at that. I assume most people are good at hiding who they really are and what they really care about in life. Sometimes I just want to tell her my every thought. Then I realize I can't. First of all it wouldn't (nor couldn't) change a thing, secondly im not even sure if I would truly want things to change, and finally things are good between she and I (I guess.. I often wish things were a tiny percentage more us, however) and if she knew it all I might seem boring to her causing us to slowly drift. She means alot to me as a friend. I hate we never got the chance to grow what we have now back in high school. The significant other has been in talk lately of making things permanent. I am proud of them, but I have my thoughts on the subject. Of course I'll never tell either of them what I really think. One wouldnt like it and the other doesn't need any mind cluttering thoughts roaming around. I'll be very supportive through the whole thing. I consider myself a good friend and i'll stand by my principles. What do I really want.. I think I know. Sadly after this permenation things will change. At first they wont, but they will. It will be then we shall become a little more distant due to the unwritten laws of american society. Thats ok, i've accepted that. Im counting on by then I'll have the one I can really tell it all to. Everything. You know what that means, right? If not, you should probably reread this paragraph. Not sure if what I just wrote did my feelings justice.. it would be incredibly difficult to explain it in person. Im sure i'll have to one of these days. Ugh.. if only if only Keith, the roommate cheesed me off a little earlier. I was 10 minutes late going in to work. My boss even called to make sure I was still coming in. My schedule was off of its norm today. Thats not the point, however. Keith overhears me talking to my boss and picks up that I am late going in. He tries to give me some beef over it, you know, "dude, they are going to fire you for being late!". Yeah, he was joking but I came back with, "Oh whatever, havent you been late to work over 30 times since you started there??" (seriously). This is what did it... "Come on dude, they can't fire me. Im IRREPLACABLE. Can't no one do that job as good as I do". Yeah, he really meant that. Cocky Cocky Cocky.. See, what he doesnt know is my boss happens to be the grandson (its some close relation, im not sure if grandson is the exact relation) of Keiths boss. My boss, Justin, asks his grandmother about keiths performance because a few months back I tried to get keith a job with us. She said he is very lazy, shows up to work late ALOT, and that she is surprised she hasn't fired him already. Those were her exact words according to Justin which wouldn't make up something like that. With having that particular knowledge of Keiths lackings at work I could have burned him tremendously for his comment of being irreplacible! But I didnt. He is Keith.. bleh.. I'm not going to down him, especialy on here behind his back. I just wish he cared more. -Chambo
2009-11-02
2:25 a.m.