Feeling stupid Some things are very difficult to talk about to specific people. Since I cant talk to those people about whats on my mind im left with this journal.. to vent, or whatever. I like the way things are with my closest friends. Notice I said like, not love. I have developed strong feelings for one of those friends. Normally that would be a good things.. Unfortunately she is very taken. Im around her and her boyfriend all the time. Bah, I dont really know where im going with this or if there will even be a point. Time to ramble: I gotta keep these feelings completely hidden. If I dont fifteen kinds of hell will instantly break loose. In my head I imagine "what if" all the time. I can really picture it.. and its good.. it works. I always picture this life that could be, that is until I take the other wheel into consideration. Yes, then reality sets in and I realize how things really are versus what my thoughts are. Oh yeah, it hurts.. and i've been trying to reverse my feelings but its just not happening. In the mean time I just gotta keep it all inside.. every little thought, good or bad. Heh I need someone to talk to about it sometimes yet the person I tell EVERYTHING to happens to be this girl. Under different circumstances it would be so easy to handle. Sigh, like this, nothing but hell. Out. -Chambo
2009-11-18
2:23 a.m.